Babette's Condition
31st July 2021
Andrew Bluett-Duncan
Director
This morning's email is just about Babette. And perhaps it's not for the faint hearted. No sales spiel this week.
On Monday morning, Babette and I had an appointment with Felicity Patterson, the oncologist, and Liz Darragh, the breast cancer nurse, who have been looking after her throughout her ordeal. At this meeting we filled in a “respect Form” that stated clearly Babette’s preferences, so far as future care was concerned. Amongst other things it says that she wants quality of life, not quantity / length of life, so for instance, she does not want to be resuscitated if it comes to it.
As a result of the advance of her cancer, we all agreed that more chemo would only weaken her further, so the emphasis is to be on ensuring that she is pain free.
On Tuesday morning this week, I woke to find Babette’s breathing to be very heavy, but as she was still sleeping, which was unusual and I felt good, I eventually left for work, only to be called a couple of hours later by Jeanne, who had ended up calling the ambulance because she couldn’t wake her mother. I arrived back home as the paramedics were assessing her. We ended up flying (almost literally, driven, I suspect by Sterling Moss in a green uniform) to East Surrey Hospital (Redhill). Her blood sugar levels were very low and it turned out she had a lot of liquid in the “bag” around her heart (the pericardium) which was constricting its operation. This is a life threatening condition in itself, never mind what cancer is also doing to her. Breathing was obviously very stressful for Babettes and also painful, despite the large doses of morphine that she’s on.
The consultant, James Sneddon, was cautious about the procedure for draining the bag, as he had doubts that she would survive it, but equally didn’t feel she had long in her current condition either. We asked him to go ahead with the procedure and I’m pleased to say that it was successful, and she returned to the ward looking much more peaceful and breathing relatively normally again. She is, nonetheless, very ill and I’m afraid she doesn’t have long to live, in all probability. On top of that she is sleeping most of the time and when conscious is rarely lucid. If I’ve understood it correctly this is in part, at least, because of the lack of oxygen to the brain.
It probably goes without saying that I’m not in the frame of mind to talk about cookware, so thank you for reading this far.
You might feel moved to write back, but if you do, would you use the blog please as I’m unlikely to be able to respond to you personally at the moment and selfishly I don’t want to be feeling guilty about this on top of everything else!
Kind regards
Andrew
Dear Andrew. Thank you for being so open, and thus letting us share with you a little bit of the journey of your wonderful wife. I am so sad and shocked by what you have written, but I’m also old enough to know that this is the way things go, and that the important thing is that you are all left with happy memories of a life extraordinarily well lived, and a person most exceptionally loved. With much love to you all. Roger
Just want you to know we are all thinking of you, sending love and ready and willing to support in whatever way needed. God Bless. Jane x
hi Andrew , Jonathan, Jeanne et Josephine
Just to say how much we care for you as you go through this horrible ordeal. When I connect with Babeth I feel and see like a butterfly that will come out of its crysalis and fly away lighter. Her body is sick but her heart and soul are flying away to a place of peace, light and love.
I hear Babeth’s laughter, the way she talks to me “to speak the truth”, not to talk about everything and nothing. She likes to scratch and really get to know everyone. Babeth behind the stove too ;)
The first time I saw Babeth was around 1987. I was spellbound by her presence. e Her body is sick but her heart and soul are flying away to a place of peace, light and love.
I hear Babeth’s laughter, the way she talks to me “to speak the truth”, not to talk about everything and nothing. She likes to scratch and really get to know everyone. Babeth behind the stove too ;)
The first time I saw Babeth was around 1987. I was entranced by her presence and her personality. The whole Guillonnet family seemed so different from the others…
I send you from my heart all my affection for you, Jonathan, Jeanne and Josephine.
My aunt Marie-José gives me news.
Even if we are far away physically, we remain close at heart
ANNE AND NICOLAS AND EMMA :)
Andrew, I’ve never met Babette but have so admired the way she has shared how she has coped with her illness with all your customers; she is an inspiration to all who find it difficult to talk about cancer. My very best wishes to Babette, you and your family as you face this last phase of her illness.
Dear Andrew,
I regret very much that I have not been more attentive to what was happening to Babette these last few months. So it was quite a shock to hear from Jeanne how things have transpired, and I can’t imagine how difficult this must all be for you and all your family. I hope it has been possible to bring Babette home for this last stage of her life where she can feel at home and loved. I feel such a debt of gratitude to Babette, for her powerful and persuasive voice at critical points of my life, and I have such admiration for her strength of character and the courageous way, the holistic way she dealt with her cancer since the initial diagnosis. And I am also grateful to you Andrew for your kindness and generosity over the years. I regret I can’t be of much support right from here in Miami except to tell you I am thinking of you and Babette and your family and hoping this will end in the best way possible, in the way Babette would want it.
Much love from Kevin