Babette
14 August 2021
Andrew Bluett-Duncan
Director
Babette
I am very sorry to tell you that Babette died peacefully at home on Sunday evening. She was in the bed that we’d set up in our main room (that we live, cook, eat and talk in) and she died in the late afternoon of last Sunday 8th August. Despite the ample warning that we’d had, I’d naively thought this would lessen the blow. It didn’t seem to. She was my closest friend, the person with whom I could discuss anything, however controversial, and without fear of judgement and there existed between us a deep appreciation of the other. I suppose this is what is very often referred to as love. Her death hit me and my three children like a sledgehammer, and that is roughly where we still are, as I write this on Thursday morning.
Has it all been misery? No, in fact early that evening, Shirley and Helen, two of Babette’s closest friends came round to “say goodbye” before the undertakers took her body away. We opened a bottle of wine and sat round enjoying memories of Babette, and there was a good deal of laughter mixed in there, along with a variety of other emotions. Josie remarked the next day that she hadn’t expected to be laughing and enjoying herself so shortly after her mum died. She’d expected everyone to just be sad and maudlin. But in fact for us there’s been a mixture of emotions, happy memories that bring laughter, tears of joy, and tears of sadness and of loss, and a few sledgehammer moments thrown in for good measure.
I’m aware that this will have been a shock to you, especially if you’ve met her in the past or felt you knew her through her writing the updates, or maybe you knew her quite well. So, if this describes you, then thank you for joining me, my family, my colleagues, friends and neighbours in mourning the death of a woman who enriched and often challenged the lives of those she met.
My warm regards to you.
Andrew
P.S. If you feel moved to reply to my email, may I ask you to do so here, partly and selfishly so I don’t feel obliged to reply, and I want everyone to see how she has been seen in her life.
For instance, for me she has been such a force for questioning the status quo that, if you have example you want to share of how she touched your life, I’d be delighted to hear it and suspect others will as well.
Thank you.”
Dear Andrew & family
I am so sorry to hear your news about dear Babette. I only met her once when she interviewed me last year regarding a vacancy!
In the short time I spoke with her she seemed a very engaging and lovely person with so much character and personality and I took to her immediately as she had a direct approach!
Although I didn’t get any further in the next round of interviews she remains in my memory with her style and charisma.
My condolences to you all.
Yours sincerely
Katie Tress
Saddened to learn of your loss.
Sympathies and condolences
I’ve known Babette since our girls, Josie & Selina were at Holmesdale infants 20 yrs ago and the wonderful memories of “Babettes legendary Stir Up’s” which still make us achingly laugh when we think of those evenings……..our friendship grew over the years despite us being complete opposites of each other in almost every way.
She always laughed at just how “English” I would be talking about anything remotely “risky” in company and loved to shock and watch me squirm!
She loved cooking, I found it a chore, she is French and never drank wine(??) I clearly did……, she loved languages, I am shockingly bad at them! She loved to sing and often broke out in song when we were out together (and took delight at how embarrassed I’d be as people watched on ) but which always ended up engaging people and making them chat….and smile!!She created such a presence wherever she went and appeared so outwardly confident in a very quiet way but deep down like us all had her own insecurities which she managed by focusing on helping others deal with theirs.
Back to her singing, she always said that she wanted to teach me to sing, insisted anyone can sing and I as vehemently insisted (as did my husband….) that I was indeed an exception to her rule!!!
We never got to work on that, as ever we thought we had “time!!” I owe it to my dear sweet friend to at least find out who was right…….
We miss you already
Shirley xx
I am so sorry to hear the news about Babette, Andrew. I used to love talking to Babette when she was in the Banstead shop, and always came away with spirits lifted and with a smile on my face. I am full of admiration for the way she dealt with her cruel illness, so brave, so positive. I send my condolences to you and all the family.
I dreaded opening your email this morning, Andrew and am so sorry that Babette has gone. As a Banstead customer, I met her a couple of times and valued her advice and recipes during lockdown via email. She was warm, welcoming and honest. She fought a brave battle supported by a loving family and is now peacefully resting. My heartfelt condolences to you all.
Anne-Marie