Babette
14 August 2021
Andrew Bluett-Duncan
Director
Babette
I am very sorry to tell you that Babette died peacefully at home on Sunday evening. She was in the bed that we’d set up in our main room (that we live, cook, eat and talk in) and she died in the late afternoon of last Sunday 8th August. Despite the ample warning that we’d had, I’d naively thought this would lessen the blow. It didn’t seem to. She was my closest friend, the person with whom I could discuss anything, however controversial, and without fear of judgement and there existed between us a deep appreciation of the other. I suppose this is what is very often referred to as love. Her death hit me and my three children like a sledgehammer, and that is roughly where we still are, as I write this on Thursday morning.
Has it all been misery? No, in fact early that evening, Shirley and Helen, two of Babette’s closest friends came round to “say goodbye” before the undertakers took her body away. We opened a bottle of wine and sat round enjoying memories of Babette, and there was a good deal of laughter mixed in there, along with a variety of other emotions. Josie remarked the next day that she hadn’t expected to be laughing and enjoying herself so shortly after her mum died. She’d expected everyone to just be sad and maudlin. But in fact for us there’s been a mixture of emotions, happy memories that bring laughter, tears of joy, and tears of sadness and of loss, and a few sledgehammer moments thrown in for good measure.
I’m aware that this will have been a shock to you, especially if you’ve met her in the past or felt you knew her through her writing the updates, or maybe you knew her quite well. So, if this describes you, then thank you for joining me, my family, my colleagues, friends and neighbours in mourning the death of a woman who enriched and often challenged the lives of those she met.
My warm regards to you.
Andrew
P.S. If you feel moved to reply to my email, may I ask you to do so here, partly and selfishly so I don’t feel obliged to reply, and I want everyone to see how she has been seen in her life.
For instance, for me she has been such a force for questioning the status quo that, if you have example you want to share of how she touched your life, I’d be delighted to hear it and suspect others will as well.
Thank you.”
I am with the gratitude of the 25 years of Babette as a friend, and her family as my « English family ».
With her I learned to look after children she was very good at it I learned the interest of psychology she was always trying to make sense out of everything – I learned to bake bread of course ;) and filled my kitchen with great Art of living cookware , I was supported and loved through hellish times of life, and in our bond she could be supported too – which helped me again!
She was a master of metaphores , to illustrate and develop anything we were trying to understand , she loved languages and was a patient and interesting teacher of them, she played the piano for us to sing together – and taught me beautiful songs that I’m singing now for her in my heart – and of course there was fun and jokes on top of everything.
I’m glad we all could – in different ways – make her feel loved and important because she was, and will remain.
I pray for Love, Peace an Joy in us ,
« Grande Jeanne » , from France.
Dear Andrew and Family
We are thinking of you and we are really sorry to read your very sad news – Babette was such a lovely lady with such a brilliant bright personality and smile.
Love from Penny and Martin
Heartfelt condolences to you and your family Andrew. We first knew Babette at Priory School when she ran the ‘Babette’s Feast’ fundraiser evening and we realised what a strong and really fun lady she was. Many witty exchanges over the years meant we had a real appreciation for her and always enjoyed seeing her. Such a loss – we are so sorry. Andy & Linda Barratt
Met her twice. Amazingly wise, giving lady despite her prognosis. We discussed sourdough and crackers, exchanged recipes and I have her starter still, christened Babette. Terribly sad for you all. She was such a personality and will be lovingly remembered
So sorry to hear about Babette. She was kind enough to reply to an email I sent and as a fellow psychotherapist wrote so eloquently and with such feeling about her situation. She seemed like a wonderful and wise lady who I’m sure will be much missed by all her family and friends. My thoughts are with you all.