Loo Brushes and a Disturbing Sense of Humour
A few years ago, I recall enjoying writing one of my weekly sales emails on the new Joseph Joseph Loo Brush holders, that had just come out. The humour was earthy, schoolboy and therefore rather juvenile, as I recounted how the Joseph's designers had employed a variety of techniques to test out their new product, including the use of Marmite. This product has been our number one Joseph best seller ever since. Although I can still hear my mother voice asking me in no uncertain terms what on earth I think I'm doing selling loo brushes, "Andrew, for heaven’s sake, we're a cookshop, not a hardware shop!" In fact she never did say this, as she died in 1999, but she would have, oh most definitely she would! And what defence might I have had in the face of such a question. "Helps pay the bills mum, and its beautifully designed and easy to use" and (a year later) "it is our bestselling Joseph Joseph line"..?
Anyway the fact remains that this is a great product which, colour and finish apart, now comes in 4 guises. These are as follows:
1. Flex Lite Toilet Brush (makes even my efforts at spelling look good). A simplified version of the original Flex with a much lower body. From £18.00
2. Flex Toilet Brush. The original design, takes very little floor space, is elegant in design (it’s not often you hear of a toilet brush holder referred to as elegant!) and remarkably effective at cleaning Marmite off your loo pan, removes other food related stuff as well. And that of course should have been my number one reason for stocking them in the first place, as it doesn’t take much imagination to see the connection between the two...does it? From £24.00
3. Flex Plus Toilet Brush. This one has a slightly deeper body to house not only your loo brush but also space for a bottle of some kind. I imagined it might be for Whisky, Gin, Rum or even Vermouth, although the last might be a bit of a stretch as you really need a slice of lemon with that and a glass, and the Josephs, good though they undoubtedly are, neglected to add a shelf or container for them. Alternatively, and rather more prosaically, you might even keep a bottle of bleach there I suppose? From £28.00.
4. Flex Store Toilet Brush XL. This the daddy of the range and is advertised as holding within its body, not just the toilet brush but also 3 toilet rolls as well. This sounds a bit boring to me, but practical. If you were to use your imagination and think laterally again, then, say a bottle of Bordeaux would fit very well in there, and it’s here that the Josephs come up trumps again . Thoughtfully they’ve designed a corkscrew called the “Bar Star”, (terrible name but a great product) that will fit in there as well. It removes the foil from the top of your bottle, it removes corks, and if you’re a beer drinker, it removes crown caps. Perfection £32.00( NOT inc corkscrew) £44.00 with corkscrew (NOT inc Bottle of Bordeaux)
5. Bar Star 3 in1 Corkscrew, as described above £12.00 (still no bottle of Bordeaux).
My offer this week is a bit of a dare.
Offer 1. Buy any two Flex Toilet Brush Holders and we’ll take 20% off your bill, use code LOO20 on the website, tell us who you are if coming into the shops.
Offer 2. Buy any two Flex Toilet Brush Holders plus a Bar Star 3 in 1 Corkscrew and we’ll take 25% off. This is a shop offer only, because I don’t think our software is sophisticated enough to allow us to do this offer and the one above at the same time. If you are not local but want to take me up on the 25% offer, then you can always do this by ringing one of the shops who will be able to help you.
Tel : Reigate: 01737 242 302.
Tel : Cobham: 01932 865 508
Well that’s good going isn’t it. I’ve got through a whole email without mentioning either Le Cresuet or Riedel. Must go, there are two men in white coats at the door, wonder what they want..?
So there you have it for this weekend. I hope it’s a sunny and peaceful weekend for you.
Kind regards
Andrew
Andrew Bluett-Duncan
Director
555
Hello Mary
Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful words on my people and on our service levels. Really appreciated.
Kind regards
Andrew
So sorry to hear that Jeanne, Paul and Sally have Covid and that you have had to close the Cobham shop today which must be very hard for you, particularly as it has occurred so close to the anniversary of Babette’s death. How strange life is. I do hope that they are not feeling too bad and will be on the road to recovery soon.
Best wishes
Mary
P.s. it would take more than a temporary closure to in any way dent the loyalty your customers have for your excellent shops, service and wonderful staff and for you too of course. Make sure you look after yourselves.
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