The Strength in Vulnerability: Plus Great Sage Appliance Deals
Andrew Bluett-Duncan
Director
I’ve got some pretty substantial offers for you today, if you’re in the market for a coffee maker, a juicer, a blender or coffee grinder, but before I get to this, I’ve got a lot to say on one particular emotion, that tends to get a bad press. So, if you’re not the mood for one my more meandering meanderings, then I suggest you skip the first dozen or so paragraphs….!
If you’re sitting, or lying, comfortably, then I’ll begin.
Erica Komisar is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst and a parent guidance expert. I was listening to her being interviewed the other day, about parenting, and she finished by saying ‘that so many mothers feel so isolated, that dealing with the pain and discomfort of mothering alone is very stressful and overwhelming’. Her opinion is that ‘we live in a society where we are separate from one another, where we don’t depend on one another because dependency is a bad word’. And it was that comment about dependency and our reluctance to ask for help, that brings me to my point this morning.
Dependence on another person is a bad word. It’s a word that brings up thoughts of vulnerability, and being vulnerable is never a good idea. Well, at least that is the commonly held view.
My view is somewhat different, which is at least partly due to my wife, Babette, who died a little under 4 years ago. It is actually difficult to not be vulnerable when such an event occurs, indeed it’s probably expected, for a month or two at any rate!
And so it was that I felt safe enough to be vulnerable in front of my family, friends and colleagues back then, both before and after her death.
And at this point, you may be beginning to get a feeling of déjà vu, if you’ve been reading my newsletters for any length of time, because back in November I did a piece on vulnerability, prompted by Brené Brown’s book. If it passed you by, great, if you recall it well then bear with me, as it now has an immediacy and relevance to my life that wasn’t the case then.
If all else fails and I’m boring you, you can always move on down to product.
Ok, so you’re still with me…thank you. A little less than two years ago I met a girl online, and we corresponded at great length before we met, which I felt boded well, and indeed it went well for quite some time. However, that relationship came to an end relatively recently, and I found myself in a position where I could either bottle it all up and hope the emotions died down (not good for anyone), or I could talk it through with friends and let them help me.
I chose the latter course, because my previous experiences, with Babette especially, showed me that talking things through was a healing process and generally the more I could talk, the more the healing took place (apologies to friends, with whom I may have over done it!). But taking that risk to be vulnerable, getting upset, feeling a lump growing in my throat, occasionally crying with a friend over the loss has helped me bring this latest experience into perspective. And so far, no one’s told me I sounded like a broken record, although I think it likely that I’ve had my moments!
Am I telling you this story for sympathy? No, I’ve little or no time for sympathy, which I see as the sympathiser making themselves feel better about an awful situation, and feeling relieved they’re not in it themselves (sorry if this is an uncharitable analysis).
Am I telling you this for empathy? Yes, I’d be happy to accept that, and thank you very much for it.
Am I telling you this for another reason?
Yes. My real motivation is to discuss this emotion we call vulnerability. Synonymous with this word is another word. Weakness. But I’d like to challenge this view, that to be vulnerable is to be weak. I have been vulnerable to you this morning in telling you about a woman that I love(d) and where the parting has been very painful (for both of us I suspect). Do I fear that you are judging me for this? Well, you may be. But I think that there’s a very good chance that you will have been through something like this yourself, and in fact will be empathising with me. As did Bob for instance, a customer of ours who wrote me a lovely email at Christmas, finishing it, “I know very few people who would expose their vulnerability to their best friend, let alone any random reader!”
Thanks Bob, compliment gladly accepted.
So why do I do it. Well, I do it because I can. And on this point, I’ve lived a long and somewhat charmed life of very varied experiences, both joyous and sad, and that certainly helps. Knowing myself through close reflection, and from that of close friends, and having had several years of therapy also helps. And I suppose my curiosity is usually stronger than my pride. So I don’t mind asking what may appear to be stupid questions until I understand, so I’m used to risking being seen as maybe a bit dim. Or, returning to my point, I’m used to being vulnerable.
So, is vulnerability a weakness? Well, I suppose it can be, but in the context I’m talking about here I see it differently. I’d like to argue with you on that, and point out that when the tables are turned, do you judge a friend harshly when she/he turns to you for help and a listening ear…..?
Well, do you?
I bet you don’t.
So, if you’re someone who hasn’t tried it, for fear of looking an idiot, a moron, or you just have a broken heart. Next time you’re in the shit, not knowing where to turn, try a little vulnerability. It takes a certain amount of courage, but you may be surprised at what comes back to you, possibly in spades!
If you’re not one of these, either because “you’re all the way there and halfway back again”, or because you’ve got no time for these trifles, then you may safely wipe the preceding paragraphs from your memory banks!
To Product….at last.
Today I’ve a raft of offers for you from Sage, the Australian based small electricals company*. Sage produce an interesting range of coffee machines, (you may recall me talking about my brother’s favourite, the Barista Express Impress, a few weeks ago).
There’s a good blender “The Super Q Blender”, then “The Bluicer” that does both blending and juicing in one machine, and a standalone juicer called “The Nutri Juicer Cold”. All of these machines are beautifully made, well designed, work well and are long lasting.
There are also three coffee machines in the offer this month.
The discounts are approximately between 11% and 17% off RRP.
As a regular reader of my newsletter, you may use code SAGEAPL to get a further £10 off any of them.
Here’s the full list
Barista Express
Bambino Plus
Barista Pro
Smart Grinder Pro
3x Bluicer Pro
Nutri Juicer cold XL
The Q Blender
*In Australia they trade under the Breville brand name.
The last word
I’ll leave the last words to two people that I have a lot of time for.
Dr John Gottman, a leading relationship expert and researcher says that vulnerability is the cornerstone of deep and meaningful connections in romantic relationships. According to his research, couples who are open, emotionally transparent, and willing to be vulnerable with each other, experience greater relationship satisfaction and longevity.
And Brené Brown says the power of vulnerability in relationships can be defined as the willingness to open oneself up emotionally, share one’s thoughts and feelings honestly, and express genuine authenticity without fear of judgment or rejection.
I trust that you have a pleasant and peaceful and vulnerable weekend, if it seems appropriate….
Warm regards
Andrew
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